


Eye of Cute: of Baby Bottles and Magic Spells

by ElricLawliet



Series: Baby AUs [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Magic, Mythical Beings & Creatures, baby au, geoff wants to know what he did to deserve this, like no one is human
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElricLawliet/pseuds/ElricLawliet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a very well-known and well-respected wizard inventor takes up a vast majority of Geoff's time. He's a busy man; doesn't have time for vacation, no matter what Jack may tell him.</p><p>Especially when going on vacation becomes the catalyst for being a father. Of many small children. With various non-human extremities such as fish tails. And wings.</p><p>...Thanks a lot, Jack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eye of Cute: of Baby Bottles and Magic Spells

**Author's Note:**

> In honor of Halloween month, I present MAGICAL BABIES IN STORY FORM. And once again you can all thank the lovely [someoneudontknow5](http://someoneudontknow5.tumblr.com/) for making an adorable baby AU that I wanted to write and then encouraging me to do it. Totally her fault.
> 
> Poor Victorian Geoff thought he had it hard with just Gavin. If only you knew, Geoffy.

It was supposed to be a goddamn vacation. That's what Jack had promised, when he had locked him out of his house and _spent money on anti-unlocking spells to put on his own doors._ There was a bitter irony in being told that he was working too hard, and the proof of it being that he couldn't remember the counter-spell to one of _his own goddamn patents._ But Geoff was nothing if not a stubborn asshole.

 _Just one day off at the beach_ , Jack had said. _No thinking of spells that would improve the experience_ _and_ _don't_ _you_ _look at me like that Geoff, I'll know if you are._

He had spent the first hour or two paranoid that Jack had meant that in the most literal of senses, side-eyeing any animal that came too close with a scowl. One incident in particular had left him feeling pretty dumb, and had ended with one terrified bird that had probably just innocently been looking for beached fish and the sudden and embarrassing remembrance that Jack couldn't even turn _into_ a stork. Oops.

He had stopped side-eyeing the beach life after that. After all if Jack really _was_ watching, all he was doing was giving him blackmail material that he would probably just use to get him to take another day off.

So now here he was, bored out of his goddamn mind and silently cursing Jack in his head. Silently, of course, though he was considering speaking the curses out loud. Spend a week with frogs for feet Jack, then see if you want to force a wizard into a vacation...

Sure, maybe he worked a bit too hard, but he _liked_ his job. It took quite a reputation to become a wizard inventor, and he'd worked his ass off to get where he was today, despite everything his middle school art teacher had said.

Bitch.

He sighed, tipping his hat over his eyes so he could stare up at the too-brilliant, too-bright sky. The beach was great, and beautiful, and all that jazz, but he wasn't a beach person. He had stuff to do, spells to invent, potions to perfect. His job was demanding, of course—did Jack really think he wouldn't work as hard as he did if he didn't have to? Some best friend that mangy mutt was.

Geoff continued to grumble as he strode leisurely around the rock pools, letting his bare toes splash in the edges every so often. Only for the sake of keeping cool of course, in no way was he having fun. Well _sure_ he could have easily used a spell to keep cool, but that was just a waste of magic when all these convenient pools were here. He was not enjoying this at all, Jack was absolutely not right, shut up.

Geoff sighed. Who the hell was he kidding, this was relaxing as hell. He'd forgotten what it was like to not constantly have his mind on work, and quite honestly it was actually pretty great. No worrying about deadlines, or if he'd forgotten any experimental potions in his office, or Jack randomly flying through his window to make sure he'd eaten (seriously the man had a fucking job, where did he get the time to come pestering Geoff so much?)...

It was actually annoyingly relaxing, Geoff thought, as he splashed his bare feet in one of the rock pools a bit. He hated it when Jack was right.

He was still grumbling up at the sky as he kicked his feet through the shallow waters again, and when he heard the softest and sweetest of giggles at his feet.

He froze.

...Giggles?

Slowly he looked down, pushing his hat out of his face and staring at the opposite end of the pool he'd been kicking around in. Propped up against the edge of the rocks, water splashed all over his face and parts of his hair, beaming like Geoff had the funniest face in the world, was a baby.

A _mermaid_ baby.

…

And just like that, the calm and relaxation was gone.

Geoff let out a...noise, something caught between a sigh and a laugh and a very quiet scream; and stared at the giggling bundle. Hazel-green eyes blinked owlishly up at him, wide and bright and curious. He giggled again, probably at whatever dumb-struck face Geoff was currently making, and held his arms up.

Oh no.

Fuck no.

No, he was not doing this. He was a wizard, not a babysitter, this was not his problem. The tide would come back up in about half an hour and the kid would get washed back into the sea where his parents could find him. Geoff needed to turn around, turn around right now and go home and tell Jack exactly where he could stick his orders of vacation and

And when had he picked up the baby. He had not meant to do that.

The kid just giggled again, wrapping both his little arms around one of Geoff's wrists in a hug. His tail, light green and slightly iridescent, folded around his other arm as Geoff pulled him into a cradling hold, which was simply because it was easier to hold him that way and not because he wanted the kid to be as comfortable as possible.

Okay. Okay, so he had picked the kid up. It was just to take the kid back to the water. Half an hour was a long time to wait when you were so little, and his parents were probably already looking for him. Mermaids had parents after all right?

...Right?

...This was not the direction to the waters edge. Right, no, but he couldn't just drop him off at the edge of the rock pools. When high tide came back up the kid might be washed right back into the pools, and then he'd be in the exact same predicament with no wizard in shining robes to save him again.

...Man, Geoff really needed to work on this whole denial thing.

He groaned, and judging from the renewed giggling from the fish-child in his arms, he probably pulled a face to go along with it. Geoff gave the little kid a glare, but obviously the intended effect was lost on him because the giggling just got louder.

Geoff sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat as he started to walk back down the beach. He'd take the kid home for a bit, until he could find out what to do about lost mermaid children. There had to be a process for this kind of thing after all. Then he would get the kid sent to the proper caretakers and get back to work, and have a story to use as leverage to never, ever have to listen to anything Jack Pattillo said ever again.

Yep. Everything would be absolutely fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Why are my opening chapters so short. boo.
> 
> I'm going to be trying to keep an at least semi-regular schedule for updating both this and Blood and Water. Ultimately, I'd like to get a chapter for each out per week, but honestly I'll be happy if I can get one chapter out for either a week. That's the goal though. Best case scenario. Most likely scenario is alternating which story I update every week.
> 
> BUT. both are very fun to write and I have happy fun time plans for both, so. I hope you're looking forward to both!!


End file.
